aiden + mommy one month update!

(to give an idea of size, that is the same picture frame shown in my 28 week bumpdate)

one month

I can hardly believe that my little guy is a month old already! I have to admit, I did get emotional about Aiden turning a month old - it really does go by so fast! I'll be doing monthly updates like this for Aiden's first year. As of now Aiden is 6 weeks old already! Things have been understandably a little crazy the last while with a newborn, so forgive me that I'm not really on any kind of blogging schedule right now (: Right now we're just working on figuring out our day-to-day schedule haha (: Here's how our first month has been!

Mommy

Recovery:    
I'd like to think my recovery has been pretty normal for a first-time mommy. I was pretty achy for about a week or so afterward. My back still aches easily but I think that's due to having to relearn proper posture without having a big belly out front and getting used to being a little more *ahem* top heavy for the first time in my life. Up until now my back has thanked me for being a faithful member of the IBTC. Now my back has no idea what's happening and has decided it hates me. It took about 3 weeks for the bleeding stop and about two weeks for the burning and pain to stop. They really aren't kidding when they say you leave your shame behind at the hospital.

I had to chug Ibuprofen like it was a pool of cool drinking water in the middle of the Sahara on the fifteenth of July for the first few days because those postpartum cramps are no joke like hokey-loving. I'll just say that I was wishing for labor contractions in return for those postpartum cramps because they were just so much easier.

Also, yes, I said I "chug Ibuprofen" because I can't swallow pills - never have been able to. It's like a childhood trauma type thing. So I take children's berry flavored Ibuprofen instead when I need it and you know I have no shame about that. Besides, who wants to adult? Hashtag hanging onto every shred of my childhood in the only way I know how. I still wonder if that nurse saw that I didn't actually swallow the Tylenol and stool softener capsule she gave me but instead bit it and was tasting burning death for the next three days because of it.

Body:
I have a question. Why? Why doesn't anyone tell you these things?! I don't know about other people and how progressive and Freudian their childhoods were, but I know I never knew about any of the ins and outs of nursing and just how hard (and extremely painful!) it can be in the beginning. For lack of better words, I always thought nursing was just a matter of putting baby to boob. Turns out it's everything but. No one tells you about the pain, soreness, leaking (more like floodgates opening), how you have to nurse or pump every couple of hours or you run the risk of engorgement, getting plugged ducts or worse - mastitis...which I've gotten twice so far. They don't tell you that as long as you're nursing you have to plan your outfits accordingly - dark colors and prints only. Unless you're willing to put the limits of your dignity to the test. They also don't tell you what happens when you hear a baby crying in the grocery store. I don't mean when it's your baby crying. Other people's babies. I think nursing has been the most shocking part about postpartum for me. The second most shocking part is my uncanny ability to do the truffle shuffle. It's both awesome and horrifying.

How do my clothes fit now? A lot of my shirts fit me well, but the ones that were form fitting on me before baby just look ridiculous on me now. ("Matronly" is the word.) I'm still wearing maternity leggings and yoga pants everywhere I go because even my slouchiest jeans don't fit. It's hard not to feel like a total frump ball when this is the case, but sometimes hip bones are stubborn and don't shrink back into place right away, forcing you into a state of wearing nothing but comfortable pants. It's a grueling state to be in.
Similar to Nebraska.

Exercise/Weight loss:

Total pregnancy weight gain: 36 pounds
Total weight loss: 22 pounds
Weight to lose for pre-baby weight: 14 pounds
(Numbers as of 2 weeks ago)

I had my postpartum checkup earlier this week and my doctor has cleared me to start exercising again! I haven't had time to fit in a real work out since being cleared for exercise, but I have been baby-wearing for the past few days, going up and down the stairs many, many, many times a day with him strapped to me, so I'm sure it all helps! We had been going on walks 1-2 times a week before my postpartum appointment. I'd like to go out more, but the last little while it's been rainy and gloomy (and snowing...) I'm looking forward to getting that first kickboxing session in! Aiden will get to see the workouts he felt me doing while he was in my belly!

Emotions:
This is another one of those things they don't tell you about. They do tell you about all the crazy emotions that come postpartum, it's just that it's one of those things where you think to yourself, "There's no way I'll become a blubbering, sobbing, mess over having difficulty feeding my baby. That's the language of pansies." But then it happens to you and you realize that you too, are among the pansies. Thankfully the emotions haven't been too crazy off-the-charts for the past couple of weeks.

Aiden

Height/Weight: 
Jason measured Aiden maybe one or two weeks ago and he was 22 inches long. The last time Jason weighed him (about a week ago), he was about 10 and 1/2 pounds. That was on our scale at home, so I don't know how accurate it is. But I know he's gotten bigger! (: For a refresher course, he was 20.5 inches and 6 pounds 14 ounces at birth.

Hair/Eye color:

Like most babies, at birth he had really dark gray/blue eyes. Since then, his eyes have lightened up a little bit and lost a bit of the gray color. They are still really dark blue! It didn't take us long to figure out that our little guy isn't so much a blonde than he is a red head. So many people have told me that he has the same hair color as me! (: My hair is "technically" the darkest shade of blonde and it has a red tint to it in sunlight. It naturally turns a dark, strawberry blonde as it grows out. Aiden's hair is reddish right at the roots! (: I'm glad I took his newborn pictures at one and two weeks because when he was around 3-4 weeks old, he lost all the hair on the top of his head! The poor little guy. The picture below was him before he went bald on top. His hair has slowly started to grow back where he lost it all. (:

Routine:
His nighttime routine has seemed to settle in a bit. He wakes up almost at the same time every night - asleep by 10, then up to eat around midnight (sometimes), again between 1-2 (the time depends if he woke at midnight), again around 4, and then he's up for the day around 6. I can't say I've noticed too much of a daytime routine yet. He does seem to get fussy around 7pm every day, so I've started giving him baths at that time and it does help!

Sleeping:
He usually sleeps in 2-3 hour stretches. Before I started baby wearing him this week, he never slept much at all in the day. Most people would tell me that's a good thing and I understand where they're coming from (at least he's not sleeping all day and awake all night). But since he wouldn't sleep for long periods of time in the day (5-20 minutes at a time, a couple times a day) it meant I didn't get to partake in the whole "nap when your baby naps" mantra that so many moms live and swear by. I've gotten used to running on 5-6 hours of sleep each night, but man, some days I wouldn't mind taking a nap! But! Ever since I started baby wearing, Aiden has been sleeping much more in the day (without changes to his nighttime sleep schedule). Usually carrying him around is what puts him to sleep and about half the time he will stay sleeping if I eventually put him down for a nap. I still don't take naps in the day, but at least this gives me a chance to get things done around the house when I'm carrying him! (:

Eating:
He eats every few hours and he usually falls asleep right after I've fed him at night (: As was alluded to above, I was having various problems nursing him in he beginning. Difficulty latching, pain, soreness, mastitis, and simply not making enough food for your baby can be really difficult. Things have gotten much easier since then - though nursing is not without the occasional speed bump. We did end up having to supplement with formula which was absolutely the most gut-wrenching thing for me to do, but we use it very sparingly  - only if he's eating more than I'm producing or if he's hungry (crying) and my milk hasn't let down yet. I'm slowly building up a "stash" of pumped milk for him in our freezer so that in the future we won't need to use formula at all.

Clothing sizes:
Now that you know the boy eats like crazy, you must know he's growing like crazy too! He's outgrown all of his newborn clothing except for a couple of things that are newborn size but happen to fit a little bigger than his other newborn clothes. First he grew out of his sleepers because he's so long! After he was only a couple weeks old he already couldn't stretch his legs out all the way in them. The rest of his newborn clothes fit him for much longer (until he was about five weeks) but even then I may have been stretching their limits haha. Earlier this week I emptied his dresser of all the newborn clothes that no longer fit him...which is just another one of those things that they don't tell you will be so dang hard. To be honest, I left his newborn clothes in his dresser for the last week even though I knew he had already outgrown them all because I couldn't stand the thought of packing them away. :( Now he's in 0-3 month clothing for everything. The one perk of kids outgrowing their clothes is they get to start wearing new clothes and new outfits which is kind of fun. (Especially as the mommy who gets to dress them up.)  (:

Developments:
+ He follows people with his gaze, looks into your eyes

+  He can support his head almost completely (I only ever need to support it if I'm picking him up from lying down)
+ He can lift his head up for a little bit during tummy time
+ He recognizes voices (he almost always calms down when he hears my voice when I come in his room at night to feed him)
+ He smiles really big when you play with him
+ He's starting to coo and discover his voice and "talks" to us sometimes (he laughs in his sleep too!)
+ Recognizes me in a mirror and also sees himself in a mirror
+ He's started to reach out to touch things and grabs my hair. I think it's sweet. He always has this look on his face like holding my hair is comforting to him when he's feeling a little uneasy.
+ He knows when food is coming! Haha

General Preferences:
+ Ceiling fans! They're just so fun to watch.
+ Being held! All. Of. The. Time.
+ Sleeping on people as opposed to beds. It doesn't matter how uncomfortable the position looks. He would rather sleep on a person than a bed. haha
+ High contrasting colors and patterns.
+ Food, lots of it.
+ Being an overall goofball.

+ Bath time! I think this has entirely to do with the fact that I love swimming and being in the water, so he loves it too. (:
+ Crying or eating for five seconds - then immediately falling asleep.
+ Making all kinds of funny faces!
+ Cooing after he sneezes.
+ Seeing how many times he can get me to change his diaper before he's 100% dressed. So far the record is 3.
+ Looking at the peg board wall next to the changing table. I think the white peg board with the dark holes is along the lines of high contrasting colors/patterns so he thinks it's so interesting!
+ He sleeps in his crib at night, but I think he likes morning sleep/snuggles in our bed just a leeeeeeeettle bit more.
+ Fuzzy blankets - but mostly his fox blanket and the blanket Jason got me for Mother's Day.

What we've been up to:

+ Spending tons of time together as a family! Jason and I were so blessed to be able to spend the first six weeks of Aiden's life at home, the three of us all together.
+ First bath
+ Going on walks to the lake and park nearby
+ My first Mother's Day!
+ I had my first baby shower for Aiden thrown by the lovely ladies at our church this past weekend!
+ Running errands as usual - sometimes I'm worried he will start crying during it all but so far he's slept through every outing

+ Made it to church five minutes early the very first time we took him...only to make it there 40 minutes late the second time. haha
+ Baby wearing! At my baby shower I got a baby carrier and we love it! Aiden almost always falls asleep in it or he'll be alert and content if he isn't sleeping. It calms him down even if he's screaming beforehand! He seriously loves being held at all times but unfortunately you can't really hold a baby and get things done around the house. The carrier has been a total lifesaver for this! And now I can go on walks with him in it and when we run errands there's no need to awkwardly lug him around in a carseat. (: I can't rave enough about it!
+ Making up silly songs to calm him when he's crying/talking in high pitched voices/doing anything we can think of just for that one smile (and it's totally worth it when he does)

Becoming parents has been such an exciting adventure for Jason and I. We love seeing Aiden grow and learn and are so excited for his future, yet at the same time we want to hang on to every second and have him stay little forever. It's a true tug-of-war on the heart. I want to cherish every second I have with this little boy! After all, he's a month old already...there are only 215 more months until he's 18 years old. I know that sounds like a lot... but I can already feel how fast that's going to go by. 

I love you, little one! You'll always be my baby boy no matter how much you grow. 

Your momma loves you so much and you make my heart burst with joy!